![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
capitu posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
my_drarry_recsHumour 2
Title: The Frog Prince
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
fantasyfiend09
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 7,600
Summary: 'I will retrieve your ball, but in return you must bring me into the castle and care for me. You must feed me from your plate, protect me from harm, and let me sleep on your pillow.'
Title: Minister Scrimgeour Does Not Approve
Author:lomonaaeren
Rating: R
Word Count: 5,400 Approx.
Summary: The Ministry has regulations preventing Aurors who are lovers from being partners. Minister Scrimgeour knows that Aurors Potter and Malfoy are having an affair, and once he catches them at it, he can sack Potter. But they are being extremely tricky about it.
Title: Rumour Has It
Author:patientiapudor
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 6,000
Summary: Draco may have taken the job out of post-war necessity, but that doesn’t mean he’s not enjoying it.
Title: Baby You’ve Got What It Takes
Author:drarryisgreen
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 12,500
Summary: Harry is a spoiled brat with a powerful position in the Ministry. He’s been hired to ‘take care’ of Draco and the bad publicity his charitable foundations is causing for the bigwigs in the Ministry. Harry hires Draco to be his secretary as an incentive to become an inside man in the Ministry; however, he ends up using him a lot more as a Personal Assistant than a Ministry employee. Draco eventually gets frustrated and quits, and Harry gathers that he needs Draco more than he lead on.
Title: Draco Malfoy’s Diary
Author:writcraft
Rating: R
Word Count: 11,800
Summary: Draco Malfoy decides that this year will be different. He will stand up to his father, stop getting irritated with his mother, give up smoking and find a suitable man. He chronicles his success (or lack thereof) in a diary.
Title: Draco’s Last Important Task
Author:marianna_merlo
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 8,200
Summary: Being a virgin in Eighth Year is just not okay. But finding someone to have sex with is harder than Draco had imagined.
Warning(s): (brief) Draco/Others
Title: Chasing Draco
Author:dracogotgame
Rating: R
Word Count: 45,000 Approx.
Summary: Draco Malfoy is every suitor's nightmare. His brazen temper and absolute disregard for the personal safety of others has his father in despair. Enter Harry Potter.
Title: A Little Insecure
Author:tigersilver
Rating: R
Word Count: 7,000
Summary: Harry receives a love letter from Draco Malfoy. Convinced that Malfoy is just fucking with him, he writes back in a way that he thinks Malfoy will take as joking, but which Malfoy unexpectedly accepts as totally serious. And pretty soon, Harry finds himself in a tightening spiral of pursuit where he feels half the time that he's leading Malfoy on, and half the time that this is all a huge, elaborate joke with him as the butt.
Title: Article 631: Diary Entry of Dr. Harry J. Potter
Author:sausaged
Rating: R
Word Count: 2,340
Summary: There might be a little more to his lover than Harry had bargained for...
Warning(s): Non Magical AU.
Title: Open Season
Author:scoradh
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 9,900 Approx.
Summary: Harry encounters a series of confusing events which lead him to one person: Draco Malfoy. Unfortunately, Draco is as befuddled as he is...featuring a cast of thousands who are all in the know, and two boys who most emphatically are not.
Title: Letter from the Ministry
Author:florahart
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 11,300 Approx.
Summary: Harry, who on further consideration has decided not to participate so much in the Wizarding world for a while, has been called in by the Aurors office to have a look at a situation. There are islands, he can't breathe, Draco is surprisingly soothing, and between them, they turn out to be all right at math.
Title: Friends Reunited
Author:kjp_013
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 5,000
Summary: Ron had a perfect — if not the perfect excuse for his reaction to Harry and Malfoy. You see, he had assumed Draco was a dog.
Title: Dragons With Silver Linings (or Harry Potter is a Treasure)
Author:megyal
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 9,700 Approx.
Summary: Harry is living a life most ordinary; maybe a dragon can shake things up.
Title: Magic Tricks
Author:talithan
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 5,600 Approx.
Summary: When Draco agreed to accompany his flatmate to a Muggle magic show, he did not expect Harry Potter to be the magician onstage. Since then, nothing has gone according to plan.
Title: It Never Occurred to Me That I Would Fall in Love With a Frenchman
Author:lamerezouille
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 6,600
Summary: Harry kisses Draco in a public place. All hell breaks loose.
Title: Set Me Free or at AO3
Author:jairissa
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 15,300 Approx.
Summary: Everyone always told Harry to grow up. Now that he has, when is the promised happiness going to arrive?
Title: Very Important Meeting
Author:icmezzo
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 6,000
Summary: Harry’s head is in the Floo but Draco’s is in the gutter.
Title: Draw Back Your Bow
Author:cleo_jay
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 2,700 approx.
Summary: After thousands of years, you’d think the God of Love would have learnt by now not to insult his mother. The punishment? Temporary exile in a castle full of teenagers. Because Aphrodite is evil.
Title: Marriage Farce
Author:enchanted_jae
Rating: R
Word Count: 2,500 approx.
Summary: Draco wakes up wedded, bedded and screwed.
Title: Draco Malfoy and the Accidental Armchair
Author:pervyunitwins
Rating: R
Word Count: 9,500
Summary: Draco moves out on his own. Harry turns himself into an armchair without being able to turn back. This is the story of how Draco accidentally buys Harry Potter and then had to decide whether to keep him or not.
Title: I Feel You
Author:thusspakekate
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 24,000
Summary: Harry and Draco take a potion that is supposed to link their hearts together, but end up connecting a different type of organ entirely.
Title: His Lucky Day
Author:alisanne
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 9,500
Summary: Sometimes, communication can be too good.
Warning(s): Epilogue compliant
Title: The Comfort of Tea
Author:omi_ohmy
Rating: PG
Word Count: 20,000
Summary: A lawn mower, a pertly pink todger, endless cups of tea and a few sly grins. Oh yes, and Harry is cursed to temporarily bond to anyone he gets close to; for some reason that person ends up being Draco, more often than not…
Title: Of Dungeons and Dragons
Author:writcraft
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 11,500
Summary: Fifteen years after the last Triwizard Tournament was held at Hogwarts, Harry returns to the school to open the first task of the Tournament. He doesn’t count on Draco Malfoy turning his world upside down forever.
Warning(s): Severus lives AU
Title: Give Me a Quiet Mind
Author:calrissian18
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 16,200
Summary: Draco is Weasley’s assistant. Except for the week he’s not. Whose brilliant idea was that again? Featuring offices in Edinburgh, an epic Measley Bromance (that no one will admit exists), several unrequited crushes, fantastical revenge scenarios, coffee snobbery, the dreaded – yet adorable – toddler terror, promises of organ swapping, a play about Scottish history (no one cares), sequins, and the League of Snarky Secretaries!
Warning(s): Non-Magic, Contemporary AU
Title: Pint-Sized Surprises (or Lily Potter is a Pint-Sized Sherlock Holmes)
Author:dadomz
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 17,000 Approx.
Summary: Wherein Lily Potter aspires to be Sherlock Holmes and when that fails, to be Emma from Jane Austen.
Title: Blood Will Tell
Author:6shotamericano
Rating: R
Word Count: 16,000 Approx.
Summary: When Draco experiences some odd symptoms, he research leads him to the discovery of veela ancestry. Meanwhile Harry is having pensieve-like steamy dreams featuring himself and Draco. Panic and foolish behaviour ensue.
Warning(s): AU after 6th year, Creature fic.
Title: Be-loved and Be-elved
Author:fireelemental79
Rating: R
Word Count: 27,300 Approx.
Summary: Harry suddenly finds himself the recipient of a number of love letters, which appear mysteriously on his desk at W.W.W. Inc., Fred and George’s magical gag factory. Is it just coincidence that they start to show up shortly before hiring Draco Malfoy as a new product tester? Or has Harry’s life simply taken a turn for the humorous now that he is in the middle of some great romantic conspiracy? And what part, if any, does Dobby play in the ever increasing mess that is Harry’s romantic life?
Title: Room with a View or at skyehawke
Author:cutecoati
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 24,000 Approx.
Summary: The portraits at number twelve, Grimmauld Place have seen many strange things over the years, but none as strange as Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy staying under the same roof while there's a war going on outside.
Title: Unknown Pleasures
Author:birdsofshore
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 10,500
Summary: The Room of Requirement was definitely broken. Why else would it be presenting Harry with a whip, some handcuffs, a blindfold, and a... what exactly was that thing, anyway?
Warning(s): Fluffy and consensual kink exploration, including spanking.
Title: Draco Malfoy and the Secret Inheritance
Author:nattish
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 47,000 Approx.
Summary: Draco is pregnant. Pregnant! At age 16, no less, and (if you hadn’t noticed) he’s a bloke. How on Earth did this happen? If that’s not upsetting enough, he has no idea who fathered the damn thing. Lust, lies, and scandal abound!
Warning(s): Mpreg
Title: The Toad King
Author:ivvymoon
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 24,000 Approx.
Summary: Draco's life is turned upside down by the appearance of a cursed toad.
Title: Pursuing Potter
Author:hereticalvision
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 6,200
Summary: Half the wizarding world wants to shag Harry Potter. Maybe more than half. But Draco’s got the inside scoop on his newly-single status and nobody’s going to get between him and Potter’s pants!
Title: A Series of Unfortunate Events (Or Not) or at AO3
Author:plotting_pen
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 25,300 Approx.
Summary: Harry Potter has a tendency to pop up whenever Draco's in trouble. Draco's not sure if he hates it as much as he'd like.
Title: Rarely Pure and Never Simple
Author:birdsofshore
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 29,000
Summary: Harry never thought taking a job as Draco Malfoy's bodyguard was going to be easy. Add in a curse that makes Malfoy even more of an obnoxious git than usual, and Harry's got serious problems.
Title: Hippogriff Indoors
Author:enchanted_jae
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 4,475
Summary: Drinking and brewing potions don't mix, which Draco learns when he spills hippogriff pheromones on himself. Now, he must deal with a randy hippogriff inside the Manor, an unhelpful house-elf, self-important ancestors, his least-favorite former teacher, and, oh yes, Harry Potter.
Warning(s): Slight bestiality (though it's in a very funny context. :D)
Title: Surviving Summer
Author:dracogotgame
Rating: R
Word Count: 15,400 Approx.
Summary: It wasn't going to be easy managing four teenagers over the summer hols. But it was definitely going to be worth it.
Warning(s): Epilogue Compliant
Title: One Floo Over the Lovegood’s Nest
Author:nattish
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 14,000 Approx.
Summary: Harry is not terribly surprised that there are magical plumbers, chimney sweeps, and pest control men. He is surprised that one of them is Draco Malfoy. And that he’s bloody hot in a jumpsuit.
Title: The Joys of Nature
Author:birdsofshore
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 2,500
Summary: More or less exactly what you would expect from the prompt, only sillier. Prompt: Getting caught sunbathing nude
Title: Don't Think Twice
Author:firethesound
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 8,000
Summary: Harry was just trying to get away for a while. He absolutely didn't mean to get trapped in the Prefect's bath with Draco Malfoy.
Warning(s): masturbation, voyeurism, comeplay, exhibitionism.
Title: Hit Me With Your Best Shot
Author:sassy_cissa
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 7,500 Approx.
Summary: Harry wasn't the only one in denial or as said best by Meredith on Grey's Anatomy: Denial: it's not just a river in Egypt. It's a freaking ocean.
Title: Best Laid Plans
Author:6shotamericano
Rating: R
Word Count: 9,100
Summary: After the war, Harry’s life is going exactly according to plan. All that is about to change.
Title: What Potter Wants
Author:birdsofshore
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 3,500
Summary: Harry definitely didn't want to do that to Malfoy. Not at all. So why did Malfoy keep saying that he did?
Title: Feeling Lucky
Author:gryffindorj
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 19,500
Summary: Luck is not chance, it's toil; fortune's expensive smile is earned.”
Warning(s): Semi-Epilogue compliant
Title: 4 ½ Weddings and a Funeral
Author:hazel_wand
Rating: R
Word Count: 12,420
Summary: Harry’s quite engaging; Draco’s otherwise engaged.
Title: It’s All Right
Author:firethesound
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 10,000 Approx.
Summary: his thing with Malfoy might be starting to get a little out of hand. It’d be more of a problem if Harry didn’t like it so much.
Warning(s): comeplay, felching/rimming, Dark Mark kink
Title: Side-Along
Author:lumosed_quill
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 22,000
Summary: If this wasn't a curse then it was Hell. Because surely, in Hell, all roads would lead to Harry Potter's living room.
Title: In the Company of a Rubber Duck
Author:birdsofshore
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 35,000 Approx.
Summary: War makes for strange bedfellows. However that doesn't fully explain how Harry ended up sharing his bath with Draco Malfoy... nor why Malfoy was a rubber duck at the time.
Title: Fairytals Are for Muggles
Author:awickedmemory
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 4,300 approx.
Summary: The last thing Draco Malfoy expected to do as he walked home from a late night at work was trip over Harry Potter. [A Christmas Bonding Story]
Warning(s): Semi-creature!Harry
Title: More Than That
Author:joosetta
Rating: R
Word Count: 11,000 Approx.
Summary: This is a story about two 52 year old men who refuse to age gracefully.
Warning(s): Epilogue Compliant
Title: The Invisible Man
Author:faithwood
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 10,000 Approx.
Summary: Sometimes unforeseen side effects aren't the worst thing that can happen to a person.
Title: In Trance
Author:thrilladdict
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 18,000 Approx.
Summary: Harry turns into a cat and is looked after by Draco Malfoy. After a soul journey and much insanity, Harry finds himself completely smitten with the git.
Title: Early Edition
Author:flaminia_x
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 6,700 Approx.
Summary: One day, Draco begins receiving the Daily Prophet a day in advance. Out of the pure kindness of his heart, he starts using the extra day's news to help some others – and if his wallet happens to benefit, all the better. But what happens the day he sees that it's Harry who needs help?
Title: Haute Allure
Author:zeitgeistic
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 12,500 Approx.
Summary: Harry is famous for his menswear now. Malfoy is the inside leg that he loves running his tape measure up.
Warning(s): Creature [Veela]
Title: A Portrait of the Artist
Author:firethesound
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 5,300 Approx.
Summary: When Harry Potter, reclusive artist, finally agrees to an interview, Draco can hardly believe that he'll be the one to do it.
Title: Two Hearts That Bleat As One & Love Lies Bleating
Author: byicmezzo & dracogotgame
Rating: G
Word Count: 5,300
Summary: After the war, Draco was prepared to spend the rest of his days alone and miserable. Then that damned goat showed up.
Title: Harry Potter is a Dirty Exhibitionist
Author:eidheann_writes
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 13,000 Approx.
Summary: The ten times they almost got caught and one time they did-- a remix of Beer, Boyfriends and Bedroom Talk bysophia_clark
Title: Three Boxes and a Scrapbook
Author:dracogotgame
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 30,500
Summary: One year after being accidentally bonded to each other, Harry and Draco are free to move on with their lives. But perhaps, what they needed was here all along.
Title: Crystal Clear
Author:icmezzo
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 7,000 Approx.
Summary: Harry customizes a snow globe. Draco listens to centaur weather reports. Ron investigates the height of Pansy’s boots. And Hermione knows even more than everything, as usual. (No one signs up for the class for lactating witches.) A remix of The First Snow by0idontknow0.
Title: Potter’s Parselprostate (and the Chamber of Secrets)
Author:dicta_contrion
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 17,400 Approx.
Summary: Hogwarts’ future depends on Malfoy’s texts. Too bad the key is up Potter’s arse.
Warning (s): Parsel!smut
Title: Tread That Fine Line
Author:disapparater
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 5300
Summary: Harry could cope with being in love with Draco, it was the needing to get fucked by him that was driving Harry insane.
Title: Be Prepared
Author:birdsofshore
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 3,600
Summary: Draco was just trying to have a quiet bath. Now Potter has some explaining to do.
Title: In the Interest of Interhouse Cooperation
Author:firethesound
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 12,000 Approx.
Summary: Organizing a Duelling Club was supposed to be a fun extracurricular activity for Harry’s 8th year. But add in Draco Malfoy and a malfunctioning Room of Requirement, and things can’t help but get complicated.
Title: An Act of Kindness for One Harry Potter by a Sympathetic Draco Malfoy
Author:0idontknow0
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 15,000 Approx.
Summary: As Draco leaned on the wall to wait for them to get dressed, he could not help feeling like he had done a very kind thing by disrupting them. Someone should give Potter a better rogering than that sorry sod had. The man had saved the bloody world—okay, mostly Europe—the least someone could do was give him a proper shag.
Title: The Potter-Malfoy Problem or here @ AO3
Author:who_la_hoop
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 29,000 Approx.
Summary: The room of requirement's gone mad — at least, that's what Harry thinks. There's no way that Draco Malfoy 'requires' him, of all people, but why does it keep dragging Harry there like he's some kind of furniture, every time Malfoy enters it? Throw in Pansy the pervert and a clipboard-wielding Hermione, and things can only go from bad to worse. And that's not even mentioning the pirates . . .
Title: Compliments to the Chef
Author:dracogotgame
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 5,100
Summary: Harry’s latest assignment is a toughie. He’s been sent in to interview the newest face on the magical food and wine circuit. Chef Malfoy is not going to make this easy.
Title: Last City
Author:zeitgeistic
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 27,500
Summary:Twenty-four Twenty-three men, six cities, and one unusual sexual requirement.
Title: Sex on Legs in Six-Inch Heels
Author:
Tessa Crowley
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 9,600 Approx.
Summary: Draco Malfoy is a brilliant freelance cursebreaker and the only one who can help the Department of Magical Law Enforcement with a very dangerous case, but more importantly, he's wearing six-inch heels, and Harry cannot handle it, he really just can't.
Warning(s): Hints of cross-dressing
Title: A Touch of Silk
Author:raitala
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 4,400
Summary: Harry has won a bet and Draco Malfoy has to serve him afternoon tea while wearing a dress. This should be amusing, Harry thinks.
Warning(s): Clothing fetish, cross dressing.
Title: You First, Loser
Author:zeitgeistic
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 6,300
Summary: When Harry and Draco’s “not serious” three-year relationship results in a one-in-a-million pregnancy, they decide who will be the unlucky one to tell their families in a very mature and adult fashion that indubitably proves their inherently stellar parenting abilities: with a bet over a (probably rigged, let’s be real; Draco is playing) game of Exploding Snap.
Warning(s): Mpreg
Title: Pharynx-Larynx-Oesophagus-Trachea
Author:firethesound
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 4,000
Summary: Harry's idea for helping Draco study is the most brilliant thing he's ever come up with, and Draco discovers that studying can be fun when one has the right study partner.
Title: Draco Malfoy and the Seven Weasleys
Author:fantasyfiend09
Rating: PG
Word Count: 6,000 Approx.
Summary: Draco's wicked uncle is trying to kill him, so he seeks refuge in an unlikely place.
Title: The Public Gets What The Public Wants
Author:barefacedbandit
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 2,540
Summary: Going underground can be fun, even in rush hour
Warning(s): Exhibitionism, orgasm denial AND semi-public orgasm.
Title: Beautiful Oblivion
Author:ravenna_c_tan
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 7,500 Approx.
Summary: When Auror Harry Potter goes undercover in the Muggle world as part of an
investigation that takes him to the USA, Draco Malfoy is the last person he expects to meet.
Title: Afternoon Tea
Author:amorette
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 15,000
Summary: Draco’s mother insisted on setting him up with Harry Potter, just because they both came out at the same time. He sometimes hated her.
Title: check this hand 'cause I'm marvelous or here at AO3
Author:lumosed_quill
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 8,000 Approx.
Summary: Harry's had a crush on Malfoy for months now. But it will take a bar full of his friends, some Firewhisky, wagers made on his behalf, and Malfoy himself to get him to act on it.
Title: Father(s) of the Grooms
Author:dracogotgame
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 3,000
Summary: Sirius and Lucius screw up big time. And then they fix it.
Title: The Gentlewizard Club
Author:sophie_french
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 28,000 Approx.
Summary: Draco wants what Draco wants. And if he has to snuggle up to Harry to get it, well, surely, Draco can handle that. Problem is, not sure Harry can.
Title: Play/Pause (a Time to Remember)
Author:this_bloody_cat
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 3,500
Summary: In hindsight, Draco should have known change was often unstoppable when it came heralded by one Harry Potter.
Title: Twice as Much as an Earthquake or here at AO3
Author:firethesound
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 19,000 Approx.
Summary: Accidental bonding. Breaking and entering. Conspiring, however unwillingly, in the strange one-man war Malfoy's waging against detention. This isn't the normal school year Harry anticipated having, but at least it's not boring.
Title: The Critiquer
Author:dysonrules
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 24,500
Summary: When Harry submits his cock photo to a renowned Cock Critiquer and gets a terrible review, he decides to take a photography class to hopefully improve his skills.
Warning(s): Graphic NWS gifs!
Title: Draco Malfoy: Toilet Supremo
Author:who_la_hoop
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 26,000 Approx.
Summary: It must be a vision brought on by eating cheese sarnies too close to bedtime, Harry thinks. There's no way that Draco Malfoy can really be standing on his doorstep, calling himself a Toilet Supremo, and expecting Harry to buy not only this unlikeliest of scenarios, but also a new loo.
But no: Harry's eyes do not deceive him. Malfoy, Lord of Toilets, is really there. Which begs a very important question: what the hell is he up to, and what evil scheme is he about to unleash? Because there must be an evil scheme . . . mustn't there?
Title: Aural Gratification
Author:birdsofshore
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 11,000 Approx.
Summary: Harry's not gay – he just likes listening to exciting stories about Aurors. It's not his fault that the narrator's voice is so smooth, so expressive... and really rather hot. This story has a delicious little sequel called Aural Fixation (NC 17, 2,8K).
Title: Studdy Buddies
Author:blithelybonny
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 3,100 Approx.
Summary: When Harry would look back on The Incident in the Library with the First-Edition Hogwarts, A History, (not at all fondly and with absolutely nothing that resembled feelings--thank you very much), he blamed the entire thing on the fact that Draco had been wearing pink trainers.
Warning(s): Spanking, rimming, semi public sex.
Title: Just Pick the Right One (or Harry Potter Needs to Get a Job)
Author:lostris_87
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 9,900
Summary: From the moment he left the Aurors, Harry had been making an increased nuisance of himself with his new found free time. So his friends, instead of killing him and feeding him to the Manticores (plan A), decide to ask the help of a professional.
Title: Draco Malfoy, Drama Llama
Author:enchanted_jae
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 4,700 Approx.
Summary: A stolen chocolate lands Draco Malfoy in a sticky situation, but how did Harry get caught up in the drama?
Title: Mission Impossible
Author:kjp_013
Rating: PG
Word Count: 5,500
Summary: It was their motto: Never a case too small. There were, though, cases that were maybe a bit too big.
Title: Hot and Cold
Author:who_la_hoop
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 7,800
Summary: Harry had an inkling as he checked out his surroundings – a gloomy forest, dusted with snow, and featuring one hundred per cent more Draco Malfoy than was comfortable – that his first Auror practical exam was not going to go as well as he'd hoped . . .
Title: Nine Days of Draco
Author:dysonrules
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 7,300
Summary: Draco gets hit with a hex and discovers his very own (reluctant) personal healer.
Title: Harry and the Djin
Author:nattish
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 29,000 Approx.
Summary: Nothing more than a street rat, Harry expects little from his life, certainly not to stumble upon a djin, who will help him on his quest to court the enchanting Prince Draco.
Content/Warning(s): Magical AU, Disney's Aladdin
Title: The Vanishing Department
Author:dicta_contrion
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 48,000
Summary: The things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, even if that involves a lot more form-filling, bickering, covert glancing, miscommunication, and flying furniture than we might expect.
Title: Another Round
Author:disapparater
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 5,500
Summary: Instead of the night he expects, Draco gets drinks, crisps, games and Potter. A remix of Harry and Draco Meet for Cocktails (or here and here at DeviantArt) byraitala.
Title: "Merlin, FINE. You can be Harry Potter for Halloween."
Author:606
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,600 Approx.
Summary: That one where Draco and Scorpius run into Harry Potter (rather literally) in a London convenience store and their Halloween takes an odd turn.
Title: Why Ron Weasley Hates His Best Mate (At Least Sometimes)
Author:lordhellebore
Rating: R
Word Count: 3,100 Approx.
Summary: Draco hates the idea of family brunch at the Burrow, but he’s got no choice. There is one person who hates it even more, though. A remix of Why I Hate Harry Potter (At the Moment) bysusannah_wilde.
Title: What Else Had I To Do But Love You?
Author:treacle_tartlet
Rating: R
Word Count: 6,500 Approx.
Summary: It is the spring of 1895. Following the arrest of Oscar Wilde, the Honourable Draco Malfoy has been called home by his father, Viscount Malfoy, who has heard rumours of Draco’s involvement with Wilde, ‘Bosie’ Douglas, and their circle. When Draco’s involvement with the handsome young gamekeeper threatens to derail his father’s plans to see him safely married off to the daughter of Lord Greengrass, the Viscount issues him an ultimatum: marry Astoria, or be disinherited.
Content/Warning(s): Non Magical AU
Title: Dinner at Luna's
Author:fantasyfiend09
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 4,000 Approx.
Summary: Harry has dinner plans with Luna. The problem is to do with her neighbour.
Title: Taking Advantage
Author:birdsofshore
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 3,600
Summary: Malfoy looked so vulnerable, lying there. But Harry would never dream of taking advantage of the situation.
Title: Stuck in the Middle (With You)
Author:lauren3210
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 12,000 Approx.
Summary: Harry had thought that it couldn’t get much worse than the synchronised vomiting that was morning sickness.
Content/Warning(s): Mpreg!Draco.
Title: The Betting Men
Author:dracogotgame
Rating: G
Word Count: 6,000
Summary: When Draco and Hermione get pregnant at the same time, their husbands take it upon themselves to make a small bet or five. This was Mistake Number One.
Content/Warning(s): Mpreg: Draco
Title: The Dimming Divide or here at AO3
Author:disapparater
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 5,700 Approx.
Summary: After a night out drinking, you'd except to wake up with a headache, but this is taking it a bit far.
Title: Scurrilous
Author:saras_girl
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 145,000 Approx.
Summary: When Potter starts behaving more oddly than usual, Draco has no choice but to take an interest. After all, it’s his job. Sort of.
Title: The Art of Perfection
Author:create_serenity
Rating: R
Word Count: 19,000 Approx.
Summary: Harry cursed the day he’d ever made the stupid bet with Ron because that bet was what had led to him being naked in front of a Muggle art class. Of course Draco Malfoy had to be taking the class, because that’s just how Harry’s life worked.
Title: The Four Ds of Apparition (or: Destination, Determination, Deliberation, and Dicks)
Author:eidheann_writes & firethesound
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 36,700
Summary: After transferring to the Apparition Department, Harry's life becomes one big dick joke. And all his friends are arseholes. So is Malfoy, but what else is new? AKA Harry Potter and theeighteen twenty dicks.
Title: He's a Keeper
Author:dracogotgame
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 3,700 Approx.
Summary: Harry gets benched for a match. He still wins.
Title: Where's Granger When You Need Her?
Author:playout
Rating: R
Word Count: 11,000 Approx.
Summary: Hogwarts' Potions Master is working on an experimental brew. He really should know better than to turn his back on an unstable potion. Now if only there were someone in the castle who could help...
Warning(s): Animagus!Draco
Title: Requaero Probum
Author:evansentranced
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 18,000 Approx.
Summary: Parolee Draco Malfoy has one last chance to redeem his family name: a Requaero Probum, a noble quest to prove his honor. And what could be more honorable than travelling to a tower to save a damsel from a curse?
Title: Ring of Fire
Author:IvvyMoon (blue_jack)
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 4,600
Summary: Draco gets a tattoo.
Content/Warning(s): A little bit of Medical Kink, dubious Ethics (Harry is a Healer)
Title: One Night at the Leaky
Author:birdsofshore
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 12,500 Approx.
Summary: Harry should have known better than to accept a drunken dare. Especially when Malfoy was sitting right there, looking like that and wearing those bloody tight trousers.
Title: To Love a Loathed (Arch) Enemy or here at AO3
Author:sophie_french
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 11,500 Approx.
Summary: "For the last time, Malfoy, I have absolutely no hidden agenda giving you your wand back."
Harry brings Draco his wand back after the war and the rest is history.
Title: Outrageous Flirt
Author:melusinahp
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 6,600 Approx.
Summary: Draco Malfoy flirts with everyone except Harry, and it has to stop.
Title: A Convenient Impracticality
Author:firethesound
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 38,000 Approx.
Summary: Somehow Harry ends up agreeing to a fake relationship with his ex-nemesis-turned-friendly-acquaintance-with-benefits, except for some reason it involves an awful lot of actual dating and, sadly, not much sex. Confused? Harry is too, but when has anything with Draco Malfoy ever been as straightforward as it seems?
Title: Like a Star Across My Sky
Author:lumosed_quill and sdkshelly
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 24,500 Approx.
Summary: When Draco discovers Harry Potter is his new landlord, he's convinced he's going to lose his shop. When Harry discovers Draco Malfoy's been invited on his friends' annual ski trip, he's certain his holiday is ruined. This is the story about how neither one of them is right.
Title: And a Malfoy in a Pear Tree
Author:lauren3210
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 8,000 Approx.
Summary: Draco works in a coffee shop. Harry drops by every day to get his fix. Of coffee, Ron.
Title: All Roads Lead Home
Author:dracogotgame
Rating: G
Word Count: 15,000 Approx.
Summary: Draco is strong-armed into spending the first Christmas after the War with the Weasleys. And Harry Potter.
Title: All the Important Words Unspoken
Author:blamebrampton
Rating: PG
Word Count: 73,500 Approx.
Summary: Narcissa Malfoy and Amarantha Greengrass just want what’s best for their children. But since it’s 1899, their children are 32 and 27 respectively, and sundry magical and Muggle crises are erupting across Europe, the chances of their plans progressing smoothly are close to zero.
Content/Warning(s): Victorian England AU (but otherwise, canon EWE compliant)
Title: Defining Dickhead
Author:who_la_hoop
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 8,500 Approx.
Summary: cockblock (vulgar, slang)
verb: to impede the romantic or sexual advances of a person (usually a man) towards another
cockblockhead (vulgar, slang)
noun: a person (usually a man) who unintentionally cockblocks themselves
see also entries for: self-sabotage, absolute idiocy, Harry James Potter
Title: Everybody’s Secret
Author:leontinabowie
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 2,800 Approx.
Summary: Harry and Draco are both professors at Hogwarts, and in a relationship with each other. They think they’re doing a good job keeping it secret — they’re not.
Title: Dapper
Author:writcraft
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 4,400
Summary: Draco starts wearing Muggle suits and Harry’s definitely losing his mind.
Title: Kiss-Kiss or here at AO3
Author:who_la_hoop
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 6,00 Approx.
Summary: “Draco,” Harry said, scandalised, “the teddy bears are watching.” (Or, five times Draco kissed Harry during 'eighth year', and the one time Harry kissed him first.)
Title: Timeshare
Author:astolat
Rating: R
Word Count: 14,000 Approx.
Summary: “It’s not for long,” Hermione said. “By the time we get back to Hogwarts, the Unfettering Brew will be ready.”
“Listen to you!” Ron said. “He’s got to get through a month with the Dursleys and a month at Malfoy Manor. With Draco Malfoy.”
“Yeah, thanks,” Harry said, because he hadn’t just spent the last week contemplating just how much more horrible his summer holidays were about to be than they’d ever been before.
Content/Warning(s): Magical AU: Canon Divergence (AU after 6th year, timeline suggested by author.)
Title: The Interest Here
Author:disapparater
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 9,400 Approx.
Summary: Draco has his own morning show on the wireless, which he loves; an ambitious assistant, whom he needs; and days in The Tea Shop, where he relaxes. He also has a new caller on the show, whom he finds bloody annoying.
Title: Truth Will Out
Author:birdsofshore
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 4,300 approx.
Summary: Sometimes you just need a little bit of a push to say what needs saying.
Title: More Than One Way to Polish a Broom
Author:lumosed_quill
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 4,500 Approx.
Summary: Draco's been hexed to want to get it on with Potter's broom. He takes his comeuppance very seriously.
Title: Reparatio
Author:astolat
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 17,300 approx.
Summary: Draco snorted. “I’m not reduced to penury. I want something considerably beyond money, and I rather think you’re the only one can give it to me.”
“You want the Invisibility Cloak,” Harry said, flatly. He’d half expected as much; it was the only thing he had that Draco could want—
“Don’t be stupid, Potter,” Draco said. “I want my reputation back.”
Title: Let Go
Author:geoviki
Rating: R
Word Count: 6,200
Summary: There was a logical explanation for what happened between Harry and Malfoy: adolescent insanity. Not their own, though—their children's.
Content/Warning(s): Epilogue compliant
Title: Who I Really Am
Author:agentmoppet
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 8,500 Approx.
Summary: Draco seems to have changed since the war, and is insisting on making amends for his actions. But he's still a Malfoy, for heaven's sake... And, it would seem, a Malfoy with a certain kink...
Title: Newts
Author: anonymous
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 13,700 Approx.
Summary: "I’m twenty-eight!" Harry said. "I’ve been an Auror for ten years! You want me to go back to Hogwarts now?"
Title: His to Command
Author: anonymous
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 3,700
Summary: Harry's new hobby provides some interesting inspiration.
Content/Warning(s): blindfolds, light D/s, light bondage, failed sexperiments, blowjobs, anal sex
Title: Draco and Harry's Illicit Affair (and how Blaise Zabini wants nothing to do with it)
Author:veterization
Rating: R
Word Count: 8,400
Summary: Blaise has the luck to stumble upon his friend romping around in Potter's pants. Multiple times.
Content/Warning(s): Blaise's POV.
Title: Uncivilized
Author:enchanted_jae
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 2,300 Approx.
Summary: Draco's boss brings out his uncivilized side.
Title: Plenty of Wits, Plenty of Squids
Author:sausaged
Rating: G
Word Count: 4,200 Approx.
Summary: Lucius just wants Draco to be happy. And if Draco wants Harry Potter, Lucius will get him Harry Potter.
Content/Warning(s): AU – alive!James and alive!Sirius.
Title: Relaxation
Author:kubrickpotter
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 4,900 Approx.
Summary: Harry needs to relax, but didn’t realise it would be quite like this.
Title: Handcuffs
Author:fantasyfiend09
Rating: R
Word Count: 7,200
Summary: Draco is celebrating his 30th birthday with his parents on their private island. Showing up without a date is not an option.
Title: If at First you Don’t Succeed...
Author:lauren3210
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 6,000 Approx.
Summary: After five years of not wanting children, Draco suddenly changes his mind. Harry is totally on board with this new plan...
Content/Warning(s): Mpreg
Title: A Madness Most Discreet
Author:sophie_french
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 82,000 Approx.
Summary: Being an Auror is not easy: the long hours, the stress, the paperwork... Add to that a loud and smug partner, whose favourite past time is to make fun of you by reading the most ridiculous excerpts from your fan mail out loud, and you have an idea of what Harry has to go through every day.
Except that Harry doesn't really mind. In fact, he almost hates himself for finding the whole thing rather endearing. [Sequel to The Gentlewizard Club.]
Title: Magic Man
Author:dracogotgame
Rating: R
Word Count: 8,100 Approx.
Summary: Draco has been exiled to live in the Muggle World, where he's actually doing alright as an amateur stage magician. Harry has been tasked to determine if he's using real magic to enhance his performances.
Title: I’ve Waited Here for You (Everlong)
Author:amorette
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 23,400 Approx.
Summary: Ever since Ginny started dating Blaise, Harry has had to see a lot of Blaise’s friends as well… and with them comes Malfoy. Everyone’s too focused on rebuilding the world after the war to notice that Malfoy is still a dick, so they don’t seem to mind letting him into their little group. But Harry remembers everything, and when he’s not having nightmares from the war or training to become an Auror, he is doing his best not to let himself become friends with Draco Malfoy. And friends with benefits is not actually friends… is it?
Title: Because Your Friend Told You About a New Position or here at AO3
Author:gracerene
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 1,200
Summary: Draco is eager to try out a new position. Harry is...less eager.
Title: Call or Delete
Author:dicta_contrion
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,7000
Summary: It was just meant to be a bit of cross-promotion, but luck has very rarely been on Draco’s side.
Title: The Anti Harry or here at AO3
Author:dracogotgame
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,100
Summary: Harry has his eye on the new Fresher. The new Fresher has it in for Harry.
Content/Warning(s): Muggle!Non Magical AU, College!AU, slightly OOC Harry (think a Harry who's had a childhood severely influenced by both Sirius Black and James Potter).
Title: Muggle 'Drug Store Items'
Author:loveglowsinthedark
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 4,100 Approx.
Summary: Malfoy's interest is caught by a certain Muggle drug store item. (Hint: Flavoured Condoms)
Title: Professor Potter and his Magical Menagerie
Author:dracogotgame
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 7,500
Summary: Harry Potter descends on Hogwarts with a horde of magical beasts. Professor Malfoy is not amused.
Title: Two Weeks
Author:shiftylinguini
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 22,000 Approx.
Summary: If Harry had to guess which out of he or his Auror Partner, and tentative new friend, Draco Malfoy, would turn out to have Veela ancestry, his answer would be: neither, because that is ridiculous. Finding out the answer is actually him, and that his Veela heritage is wreaking havoc on his ability to work, sleep, and above all be in the same room as Malfoy, is a surprise to say the least. But this is fine. Harry’s been through worse, and he can just sit this one out, regardless of how much his body is screaming for the one person he doesn’t want to ask for help. Can’t he?
Content/Warning(s): Creature fic: Veela.
Title: Luckiest Fucking Size Queen Alive
Author:loveglowsinthedark
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 6,100
Summary: Potter escorts me home, presses me into my front door and kisses me with a ferocity that’s exhilarating. // And then Potter asks me, in a growl that makes my cock throw a wet tantrum in my pants, how many more dates I would deem mandatory before I let him fuck me. // I drag Potter to bed.
Title: Life Is The Flower (For Which Love Is the Honey)
Author:bafflinghaze
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 15,000 Approx.
Summary: The Malfoy Manor lands are lush and verdant. Bees hover over carpets of flowers, and ducks paddle in the pond. It is a place far removed from bustling London and pesky reporters; it is a place where Harry finds what—and who—he didn’t know he was missing.
Title: Hippomancy for Beginners
Author:khalulu
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 11,500 Approx.
Summary: When Draco desperately insists on becoming a Centaur Liaison, he doesn’t know what he’s getting into, especially with that annoying hero-turned-hermit Harry Potter living right at the entrance to the Forbidden Forest. Not to mention foreign unicorn women, slavering three headed beasts, bitter brews, unexpected friendships, and the consequences of a very cocky vocabulary.
Go back to Humour 1
Back to Rec Archive
Or back to Main Menu
Title: The Frog Prince
Author:
fantasyfiend09 Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 7,600
Summary: 'I will retrieve your ball, but in return you must bring me into the castle and care for me. You must feed me from your plate, protect me from harm, and let me sleep on your pillow.'
Title: Minister Scrimgeour Does Not Approve
Author:
lomonaaerenRating: R
Word Count: 5,400 Approx.
Summary: The Ministry has regulations preventing Aurors who are lovers from being partners. Minister Scrimgeour knows that Aurors Potter and Malfoy are having an affair, and once he catches them at it, he can sack Potter. But they are being extremely tricky about it.
Title: Rumour Has It
Author:
patientiapudorRating: NC 17
Word Count: 6,000
Summary: Draco may have taken the job out of post-war necessity, but that doesn’t mean he’s not enjoying it.
Title: Baby You’ve Got What It Takes
Author:
drarryisgreen Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 12,500
Summary: Harry is a spoiled brat with a powerful position in the Ministry. He’s been hired to ‘take care’ of Draco and the bad publicity his charitable foundations is causing for the bigwigs in the Ministry. Harry hires Draco to be his secretary as an incentive to become an inside man in the Ministry; however, he ends up using him a lot more as a Personal Assistant than a Ministry employee. Draco eventually gets frustrated and quits, and Harry gathers that he needs Draco more than he lead on.
Title: Draco Malfoy’s Diary
Author:
writcraft Rating: R
Word Count: 11,800
Summary: Draco Malfoy decides that this year will be different. He will stand up to his father, stop getting irritated with his mother, give up smoking and find a suitable man. He chronicles his success (or lack thereof) in a diary.
Title: Draco’s Last Important Task
Author:
marianna_merlo Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 8,200
Summary: Being a virgin in Eighth Year is just not okay. But finding someone to have sex with is harder than Draco had imagined.
Warning(s): (brief) Draco/Others
Title: Chasing Draco
Author:
dracogotgameRating: R
Word Count: 45,000 Approx.
Summary: Draco Malfoy is every suitor's nightmare. His brazen temper and absolute disregard for the personal safety of others has his father in despair. Enter Harry Potter.
Title: A Little Insecure
Author:
tigersilver Rating: R
Word Count: 7,000
Summary: Harry receives a love letter from Draco Malfoy. Convinced that Malfoy is just fucking with him, he writes back in a way that he thinks Malfoy will take as joking, but which Malfoy unexpectedly accepts as totally serious. And pretty soon, Harry finds himself in a tightening spiral of pursuit where he feels half the time that he's leading Malfoy on, and half the time that this is all a huge, elaborate joke with him as the butt.
Title: Article 631: Diary Entry of Dr. Harry J. Potter
Author:
sausaged Rating: R
Word Count: 2,340
Summary: There might be a little more to his lover than Harry had bargained for...
Warning(s): Non Magical AU.
Title: Open Season
Author:
scoradhRating: PG 13
Word Count: 9,900 Approx.
Summary: Harry encounters a series of confusing events which lead him to one person: Draco Malfoy. Unfortunately, Draco is as befuddled as he is...featuring a cast of thousands who are all in the know, and two boys who most emphatically are not.
Title: Letter from the Ministry
Author:
florahart Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 11,300 Approx.
Summary: Harry, who on further consideration has decided not to participate so much in the Wizarding world for a while, has been called in by the Aurors office to have a look at a situation. There are islands, he can't breathe, Draco is surprisingly soothing, and between them, they turn out to be all right at math.
Title: Friends Reunited
Author:
kjp_013 Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 5,000
Summary: Ron had a perfect — if not the perfect excuse for his reaction to Harry and Malfoy. You see, he had assumed Draco was a dog.
Title: Dragons With Silver Linings (or Harry Potter is a Treasure)
Author:
megyal Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 9,700 Approx.
Summary: Harry is living a life most ordinary; maybe a dragon can shake things up.
Title: Magic Tricks
Author:
talithan Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 5,600 Approx.
Summary: When Draco agreed to accompany his flatmate to a Muggle magic show, he did not expect Harry Potter to be the magician onstage. Since then, nothing has gone according to plan.
Title: It Never Occurred to Me That I Would Fall in Love With a Frenchman
Author:
lamerezouille Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 6,600
Summary: Harry kisses Draco in a public place. All hell breaks loose.
Title: Set Me Free or at AO3
Author:
jairissa Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 15,300 Approx.
Summary: Everyone always told Harry to grow up. Now that he has, when is the promised happiness going to arrive?
Title: Very Important Meeting
Author:
icmezzo Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 6,000
Summary: Harry’s head is in the Floo but Draco’s is in the gutter.
Title: Draw Back Your Bow
Author:
cleo_jay Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 2,700 approx.
Summary: After thousands of years, you’d think the God of Love would have learnt by now not to insult his mother. The punishment? Temporary exile in a castle full of teenagers. Because Aphrodite is evil.
Title: Marriage Farce
Author:
enchanted_jae Rating: R
Word Count: 2,500 approx.
Summary: Draco wakes up wedded, bedded and screwed.
Title: Draco Malfoy and the Accidental Armchair
Author:
pervyunitwins Rating: R
Word Count: 9,500
Summary: Draco moves out on his own. Harry turns himself into an armchair without being able to turn back. This is the story of how Draco accidentally buys Harry Potter and then had to decide whether to keep him or not.
Title: I Feel You
Author:
thusspakekate Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 24,000
Summary: Harry and Draco take a potion that is supposed to link their hearts together, but end up connecting a different type of organ entirely.
Title: His Lucky Day
Author:
alisanne Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 9,500
Summary: Sometimes, communication can be too good.
Warning(s): Epilogue compliant
Title: The Comfort of Tea
Author:
omi_ohmy Rating: PG
Word Count: 20,000
Summary: A lawn mower, a pertly pink todger, endless cups of tea and a few sly grins. Oh yes, and Harry is cursed to temporarily bond to anyone he gets close to; for some reason that person ends up being Draco, more often than not…
Title: Of Dungeons and Dragons
Author:
writcraft Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 11,500
Summary: Fifteen years after the last Triwizard Tournament was held at Hogwarts, Harry returns to the school to open the first task of the Tournament. He doesn’t count on Draco Malfoy turning his world upside down forever.
Warning(s): Severus lives AU
Title: Give Me a Quiet Mind
Author:
calrissian18Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 16,200
Summary: Draco is Weasley’s assistant. Except for the week he’s not. Whose brilliant idea was that again? Featuring offices in Edinburgh, an epic Measley Bromance (that no one will admit exists), several unrequited crushes, fantastical revenge scenarios, coffee snobbery, the dreaded – yet adorable – toddler terror, promises of organ swapping, a play about Scottish history (no one cares), sequins, and the League of Snarky Secretaries!
Warning(s): Non-Magic, Contemporary AU
Title: Pint-Sized Surprises (or Lily Potter is a Pint-Sized Sherlock Holmes)
Author:
dadomz Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 17,000 Approx.
Summary: Wherein Lily Potter aspires to be Sherlock Holmes and when that fails, to be Emma from Jane Austen.
Title: Blood Will Tell
Author:
6shotamericano Rating: R
Word Count: 16,000 Approx.
Summary: When Draco experiences some odd symptoms, he research leads him to the discovery of veela ancestry. Meanwhile Harry is having pensieve-like steamy dreams featuring himself and Draco. Panic and foolish behaviour ensue.
Warning(s): AU after 6th year, Creature fic.
Title: Be-loved and Be-elved
Author:
fireelemental79 Rating: R
Word Count: 27,300 Approx.
Summary: Harry suddenly finds himself the recipient of a number of love letters, which appear mysteriously on his desk at W.W.W. Inc., Fred and George’s magical gag factory. Is it just coincidence that they start to show up shortly before hiring Draco Malfoy as a new product tester? Or has Harry’s life simply taken a turn for the humorous now that he is in the middle of some great romantic conspiracy? And what part, if any, does Dobby play in the ever increasing mess that is Harry’s romantic life?
Title: Room with a View or at skyehawke
Author:
cutecoati Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 24,000 Approx.
Summary: The portraits at number twelve, Grimmauld Place have seen many strange things over the years, but none as strange as Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy staying under the same roof while there's a war going on outside.
Title: Unknown Pleasures
Author:
birdsofshore Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 10,500
Summary: The Room of Requirement was definitely broken. Why else would it be presenting Harry with a whip, some handcuffs, a blindfold, and a... what exactly was that thing, anyway?
Warning(s): Fluffy and consensual kink exploration, including spanking.
Title: Draco Malfoy and the Secret Inheritance
Author:
nattish Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 47,000 Approx.
Summary: Draco is pregnant. Pregnant! At age 16, no less, and (if you hadn’t noticed) he’s a bloke. How on Earth did this happen? If that’s not upsetting enough, he has no idea who fathered the damn thing. Lust, lies, and scandal abound!
Warning(s): Mpreg
Title: The Toad King
Author:
ivvymoon Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 24,000 Approx.
Summary: Draco's life is turned upside down by the appearance of a cursed toad.
Title: Pursuing Potter
Author:
hereticalvision Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 6,200
Summary: Half the wizarding world wants to shag Harry Potter. Maybe more than half. But Draco’s got the inside scoop on his newly-single status and nobody’s going to get between him and Potter’s pants!
Title: A Series of Unfortunate Events (Or Not) or at AO3
Author:
plotting_pen Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 25,300 Approx.
Summary: Harry Potter has a tendency to pop up whenever Draco's in trouble. Draco's not sure if he hates it as much as he'd like.
Title: Rarely Pure and Never Simple
Author:
birdsofshore Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 29,000
Summary: Harry never thought taking a job as Draco Malfoy's bodyguard was going to be easy. Add in a curse that makes Malfoy even more of an obnoxious git than usual, and Harry's got serious problems.
Title: Hippogriff Indoors
Author:
enchanted_jae Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 4,475
Summary: Drinking and brewing potions don't mix, which Draco learns when he spills hippogriff pheromones on himself. Now, he must deal with a randy hippogriff inside the Manor, an unhelpful house-elf, self-important ancestors, his least-favorite former teacher, and, oh yes, Harry Potter.
Warning(s): Slight bestiality (though it's in a very funny context. :D)
Title: Surviving Summer
Author:
dracogotgame Rating: R
Word Count: 15,400 Approx.
Summary: It wasn't going to be easy managing four teenagers over the summer hols. But it was definitely going to be worth it.
Warning(s): Epilogue Compliant
Title: One Floo Over the Lovegood’s Nest
Author:
nattish Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 14,000 Approx.
Summary: Harry is not terribly surprised that there are magical plumbers, chimney sweeps, and pest control men. He is surprised that one of them is Draco Malfoy. And that he’s bloody hot in a jumpsuit.
Title: The Joys of Nature
Author:
birdsofshore Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 2,500
Summary: More or less exactly what you would expect from the prompt, only sillier. Prompt: Getting caught sunbathing nude
Title: Don't Think Twice
Author:
firethesound Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 8,000
Summary: Harry was just trying to get away for a while. He absolutely didn't mean to get trapped in the Prefect's bath with Draco Malfoy.
Warning(s): masturbation, voyeurism, comeplay, exhibitionism.
Title: Hit Me With Your Best Shot
Author:
sassy_cissa Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 7,500 Approx.
Summary: Harry wasn't the only one in denial or as said best by Meredith on Grey's Anatomy: Denial: it's not just a river in Egypt. It's a freaking ocean.
Title: Best Laid Plans
Author:
6shotamericano Rating: R
Word Count: 9,100
Summary: After the war, Harry’s life is going exactly according to plan. All that is about to change.
Title: What Potter Wants
Author:
birdsofshore Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 3,500
Summary: Harry definitely didn't want to do that to Malfoy. Not at all. So why did Malfoy keep saying that he did?
Title: Feeling Lucky
Author:
gryffindorj Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 19,500
Summary: Luck is not chance, it's toil; fortune's expensive smile is earned.”
Warning(s): Semi-Epilogue compliant
Title: 4 ½ Weddings and a Funeral
Author:
hazel_wand Rating: R
Word Count: 12,420
Summary: Harry’s quite engaging; Draco’s otherwise engaged.
Title: It’s All Right
Author:
firethesound Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 10,000 Approx.
Summary: his thing with Malfoy might be starting to get a little out of hand. It’d be more of a problem if Harry didn’t like it so much.
Warning(s): comeplay, felching/rimming, Dark Mark kink
Title: Side-Along
Author:
lumosed_quill Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 22,000
Summary: If this wasn't a curse then it was Hell. Because surely, in Hell, all roads would lead to Harry Potter's living room.
Title: In the Company of a Rubber Duck
Author:
birdsofshore Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 35,000 Approx.
Summary: War makes for strange bedfellows. However that doesn't fully explain how Harry ended up sharing his bath with Draco Malfoy... nor why Malfoy was a rubber duck at the time.
Title: Fairytals Are for Muggles
Author:
awickedmemory Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 4,300 approx.
Summary: The last thing Draco Malfoy expected to do as he walked home from a late night at work was trip over Harry Potter. [A Christmas Bonding Story]
Warning(s): Semi-creature!Harry
Title: More Than That
Author:
joosetta Rating: R
Word Count: 11,000 Approx.
Summary: This is a story about two 52 year old men who refuse to age gracefully.
Warning(s): Epilogue Compliant
Title: The Invisible Man
Author:
faithwood Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 10,000 Approx.
Summary: Sometimes unforeseen side effects aren't the worst thing that can happen to a person.
Title: In Trance
Author:
thrilladdict Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 18,000 Approx.
Summary: Harry turns into a cat and is looked after by Draco Malfoy. After a soul journey and much insanity, Harry finds himself completely smitten with the git.
Title: Early Edition
Author:
flaminia_x Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 6,700 Approx.
Summary: One day, Draco begins receiving the Daily Prophet a day in advance. Out of the pure kindness of his heart, he starts using the extra day's news to help some others – and if his wallet happens to benefit, all the better. But what happens the day he sees that it's Harry who needs help?
Title: Haute Allure
Author:
zeitgeistic Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 12,500 Approx.
Summary: Harry is famous for his menswear now. Malfoy is the inside leg that he loves running his tape measure up.
Warning(s): Creature [Veela]
Title: A Portrait of the Artist
Author:
firethesound Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 5,300 Approx.
Summary: When Harry Potter, reclusive artist, finally agrees to an interview, Draco can hardly believe that he'll be the one to do it.
Title: Two Hearts That Bleat As One & Love Lies Bleating
Author: by
icmezzo & dracogotgame Rating: G
Word Count: 5,300
Summary: After the war, Draco was prepared to spend the rest of his days alone and miserable. Then that damned goat showed up.
Title: Harry Potter is a Dirty Exhibitionist
Author:
eidheann_writes Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 13,000 Approx.
Summary: The ten times they almost got caught and one time they did-- a remix of Beer, Boyfriends and Bedroom Talk by
sophia_clarkTitle: Three Boxes and a Scrapbook
Author:
dracogotgame Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 30,500
Summary: One year after being accidentally bonded to each other, Harry and Draco are free to move on with their lives. But perhaps, what they needed was here all along.
Title: Crystal Clear
Author:
icmezzo Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 7,000 Approx.
Summary: Harry customizes a snow globe. Draco listens to centaur weather reports. Ron investigates the height of Pansy’s boots. And Hermione knows even more than everything, as usual. (No one signs up for the class for lactating witches.) A remix of The First Snow by
0idontknow0.Title: Potter’s Parselprostate (and the Chamber of Secrets)
Author:
dicta_contrion Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 17,400 Approx.
Summary: Hogwarts’ future depends on Malfoy’s texts. Too bad the key is up Potter’s arse.
Warning (s): Parsel!smut
Title: Tread That Fine Line
Author:
disapparater Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 5300
Summary: Harry could cope with being in love with Draco, it was the needing to get fucked by him that was driving Harry insane.
Title: Be Prepared
Author:
birdsofshore Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 3,600
Summary: Draco was just trying to have a quiet bath. Now Potter has some explaining to do.
Title: In the Interest of Interhouse Cooperation
Author:
firethesound Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 12,000 Approx.
Summary: Organizing a Duelling Club was supposed to be a fun extracurricular activity for Harry’s 8th year. But add in Draco Malfoy and a malfunctioning Room of Requirement, and things can’t help but get complicated.
Title: An Act of Kindness for One Harry Potter by a Sympathetic Draco Malfoy
Author:
0idontknow0 Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 15,000 Approx.
Summary: As Draco leaned on the wall to wait for them to get dressed, he could not help feeling like he had done a very kind thing by disrupting them. Someone should give Potter a better rogering than that sorry sod had. The man had saved the bloody world—okay, mostly Europe—the least someone could do was give him a proper shag.
Title: The Potter-Malfoy Problem or here @ AO3
Author:
who_la_hoop Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 29,000 Approx.
Summary: The room of requirement's gone mad — at least, that's what Harry thinks. There's no way that Draco Malfoy 'requires' him, of all people, but why does it keep dragging Harry there like he's some kind of furniture, every time Malfoy enters it? Throw in Pansy the pervert and a clipboard-wielding Hermione, and things can only go from bad to worse. And that's not even mentioning the pirates . . .
Title: Compliments to the Chef
Author:
dracogotgame Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 5,100
Summary: Harry’s latest assignment is a toughie. He’s been sent in to interview the newest face on the magical food and wine circuit. Chef Malfoy is not going to make this easy.
Title: Last City
Author:
zeitgeistic Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 27,500
Summary:
Title: Sex on Legs in Six-Inch Heels
Author:
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 9,600 Approx.
Summary: Draco Malfoy is a brilliant freelance cursebreaker and the only one who can help the Department of Magical Law Enforcement with a very dangerous case, but more importantly, he's wearing six-inch heels, and Harry cannot handle it, he really just can't.
Warning(s): Hints of cross-dressing
Title: A Touch of Silk
Author:
raitala Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 4,400
Summary: Harry has won a bet and Draco Malfoy has to serve him afternoon tea while wearing a dress. This should be amusing, Harry thinks.
Warning(s): Clothing fetish, cross dressing.
Title: You First, Loser
Author:
zeitgeistic Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 6,300
Summary: When Harry and Draco’s “not serious” three-year relationship results in a one-in-a-million pregnancy, they decide who will be the unlucky one to tell their families in a very mature and adult fashion that indubitably proves their inherently stellar parenting abilities: with a bet over a (probably rigged, let’s be real; Draco is playing) game of Exploding Snap.
Warning(s): Mpreg
Title: Pharynx-Larynx-Oesophagus-Trachea
Author:
firethesound Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 4,000
Summary: Harry's idea for helping Draco study is the most brilliant thing he's ever come up with, and Draco discovers that studying can be fun when one has the right study partner.
Title: Draco Malfoy and the Seven Weasleys
Author:
fantasyfiend09 Rating: PG
Word Count: 6,000 Approx.
Summary: Draco's wicked uncle is trying to kill him, so he seeks refuge in an unlikely place.
Title: The Public Gets What The Public Wants
Author:
barefacedbandit Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 2,540
Summary: Going underground can be fun, even in rush hour
Warning(s): Exhibitionism, orgasm denial AND semi-public orgasm.
Title: Beautiful Oblivion
Author:
ravenna_c_tan Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 7,500 Approx.
Summary: When Auror Harry Potter goes undercover in the Muggle world as part of an
investigation that takes him to the USA, Draco Malfoy is the last person he expects to meet.
Title: Afternoon Tea
Author:
amorette Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 15,000
Summary: Draco’s mother insisted on setting him up with Harry Potter, just because they both came out at the same time. He sometimes hated her.
Title: check this hand 'cause I'm marvelous or here at AO3
Author:
lumosed_quill Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 8,000 Approx.
Summary: Harry's had a crush on Malfoy for months now. But it will take a bar full of his friends, some Firewhisky, wagers made on his behalf, and Malfoy himself to get him to act on it.
Title: Father(s) of the Grooms
Author:
dracogotgame Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 3,000
Summary: Sirius and Lucius screw up big time. And then they fix it.
Title: The Gentlewizard Club
Author:
sophie_french Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 28,000 Approx.
Summary: Draco wants what Draco wants. And if he has to snuggle up to Harry to get it, well, surely, Draco can handle that. Problem is, not sure Harry can.
Title: Play/Pause (a Time to Remember)
Author:
this_bloody_cat Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 3,500
Summary: In hindsight, Draco should have known change was often unstoppable when it came heralded by one Harry Potter.
Title: Twice as Much as an Earthquake or here at AO3
Author:
firethesound Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 19,000 Approx.
Summary: Accidental bonding. Breaking and entering. Conspiring, however unwillingly, in the strange one-man war Malfoy's waging against detention. This isn't the normal school year Harry anticipated having, but at least it's not boring.
Title: The Critiquer
Author:
dysonrules Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 24,500
Summary: When Harry submits his cock photo to a renowned Cock Critiquer and gets a terrible review, he decides to take a photography class to hopefully improve his skills.
Warning(s): Graphic NWS gifs!
Title: Draco Malfoy: Toilet Supremo
Author:
who_la_hoop Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 26,000 Approx.
Summary: It must be a vision brought on by eating cheese sarnies too close to bedtime, Harry thinks. There's no way that Draco Malfoy can really be standing on his doorstep, calling himself a Toilet Supremo, and expecting Harry to buy not only this unlikeliest of scenarios, but also a new loo.
But no: Harry's eyes do not deceive him. Malfoy, Lord of Toilets, is really there. Which begs a very important question: what the hell is he up to, and what evil scheme is he about to unleash? Because there must be an evil scheme . . . mustn't there?
Title: Aural Gratification
Author:
birdsofshore Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 11,000 Approx.
Summary: Harry's not gay – he just likes listening to exciting stories about Aurors. It's not his fault that the narrator's voice is so smooth, so expressive... and really rather hot. This story has a delicious little sequel called Aural Fixation (NC 17, 2,8K).
Title: Studdy Buddies
Author:
blithelybonny Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 3,100 Approx.
Summary: When Harry would look back on The Incident in the Library with the First-Edition Hogwarts, A History, (not at all fondly and with absolutely nothing that resembled feelings--thank you very much), he blamed the entire thing on the fact that Draco had been wearing pink trainers.
Warning(s): Spanking, rimming, semi public sex.
Title: Just Pick the Right One (or Harry Potter Needs to Get a Job)
Author:
lostris_87 Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 9,900
Summary: From the moment he left the Aurors, Harry had been making an increased nuisance of himself with his new found free time. So his friends, instead of killing him and feeding him to the Manticores (plan A), decide to ask the help of a professional.
Title: Draco Malfoy, Drama Llama
Author:
enchanted_jae Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 4,700 Approx.
Summary: A stolen chocolate lands Draco Malfoy in a sticky situation, but how did Harry get caught up in the drama?
Title: Mission Impossible
Author:
kjp_013 Rating: PG
Word Count: 5,500
Summary: It was their motto: Never a case too small. There were, though, cases that were maybe a bit too big.
Title: Hot and Cold
Author:
who_la_hoop Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 7,800
Summary: Harry had an inkling as he checked out his surroundings – a gloomy forest, dusted with snow, and featuring one hundred per cent more Draco Malfoy than was comfortable – that his first Auror practical exam was not going to go as well as he'd hoped . . .
Title: Nine Days of Draco
Author:
dysonrules Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 7,300
Summary: Draco gets hit with a hex and discovers his very own (reluctant) personal healer.
Title: Harry and the Djin
Author:
nattish Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 29,000 Approx.
Summary: Nothing more than a street rat, Harry expects little from his life, certainly not to stumble upon a djin, who will help him on his quest to court the enchanting Prince Draco.
Content/Warning(s): Magical AU, Disney's Aladdin
Title: The Vanishing Department
Author:
dicta_contrion Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 48,000
Summary: The things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, even if that involves a lot more form-filling, bickering, covert glancing, miscommunication, and flying furniture than we might expect.
Title: Another Round
Author:
disapparater Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 5,500
Summary: Instead of the night he expects, Draco gets drinks, crisps, games and Potter. A remix of Harry and Draco Meet for Cocktails (or here and here at DeviantArt) by
raitala.Title: "Merlin, FINE. You can be Harry Potter for Halloween."
Author:
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,600 Approx.
Summary: That one where Draco and Scorpius run into Harry Potter (rather literally) in a London convenience store and their Halloween takes an odd turn.
Title: Why Ron Weasley Hates His Best Mate (At Least Sometimes)
Author:
lordhelleboreRating: R
Word Count: 3,100 Approx.
Summary: Draco hates the idea of family brunch at the Burrow, but he’s got no choice. There is one person who hates it even more, though. A remix of Why I Hate Harry Potter (At the Moment) by
susannah_wilde.Title: What Else Had I To Do But Love You?
Author:
treacle_tartlet Rating: R
Word Count: 6,500 Approx.
Summary: It is the spring of 1895. Following the arrest of Oscar Wilde, the Honourable Draco Malfoy has been called home by his father, Viscount Malfoy, who has heard rumours of Draco’s involvement with Wilde, ‘Bosie’ Douglas, and their circle. When Draco’s involvement with the handsome young gamekeeper threatens to derail his father’s plans to see him safely married off to the daughter of Lord Greengrass, the Viscount issues him an ultimatum: marry Astoria, or be disinherited.
Content/Warning(s): Non Magical AU
Title: Dinner at Luna's
Author:
fantasyfiend09 Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 4,000 Approx.
Summary: Harry has dinner plans with Luna. The problem is to do with her neighbour.
Title: Taking Advantage
Author:
birdsofshore Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 3,600
Summary: Malfoy looked so vulnerable, lying there. But Harry would never dream of taking advantage of the situation.
Title: Stuck in the Middle (With You)
Author:
lauren3210 Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 12,000 Approx.
Summary: Harry had thought that it couldn’t get much worse than the synchronised vomiting that was morning sickness.
Content/Warning(s): Mpreg!Draco.
Title: The Betting Men
Author:
dracogotgame Rating: G
Word Count: 6,000
Summary: When Draco and Hermione get pregnant at the same time, their husbands take it upon themselves to make a small bet or five. This was Mistake Number One.
Content/Warning(s): Mpreg: Draco
Title: The Dimming Divide or here at AO3
Author:
disapparater Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 5,700 Approx.
Summary: After a night out drinking, you'd except to wake up with a headache, but this is taking it a bit far.
Title: Scurrilous
Author:
saras_girl Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 145,000 Approx.
Summary: When Potter starts behaving more oddly than usual, Draco has no choice but to take an interest. After all, it’s his job. Sort of.
Title: The Art of Perfection
Author:
create_serenity Rating: R
Word Count: 19,000 Approx.
Summary: Harry cursed the day he’d ever made the stupid bet with Ron because that bet was what had led to him being naked in front of a Muggle art class. Of course Draco Malfoy had to be taking the class, because that’s just how Harry’s life worked.
Title: The Four Ds of Apparition (or: Destination, Determination, Deliberation, and Dicks)
Author:
eidheann_writes & firethesound Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 36,700
Summary: After transferring to the Apparition Department, Harry's life becomes one big dick joke. And all his friends are arseholes. So is Malfoy, but what else is new? AKA Harry Potter and the
Title: He's a Keeper
Author:
dracogotgame Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 3,700 Approx.
Summary: Harry gets benched for a match. He still wins.
Title: Where's Granger When You Need Her?
Author:
Rating: R
Word Count: 11,000 Approx.
Summary: Hogwarts' Potions Master is working on an experimental brew. He really should know better than to turn his back on an unstable potion. Now if only there were someone in the castle who could help...
Warning(s): Animagus!Draco
Title: Requaero Probum
Author:
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 18,000 Approx.
Summary: Parolee Draco Malfoy has one last chance to redeem his family name: a Requaero Probum, a noble quest to prove his honor. And what could be more honorable than travelling to a tower to save a damsel from a curse?
Title: Ring of Fire
Author:
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 4,600
Summary: Draco gets a tattoo.
Content/Warning(s): A little bit of Medical Kink, dubious Ethics (Harry is a Healer)
Title: One Night at the Leaky
Author:
birdsofshore Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 12,500 Approx.
Summary: Harry should have known better than to accept a drunken dare. Especially when Malfoy was sitting right there, looking like that and wearing those bloody tight trousers.
Title: To Love a Loathed (Arch) Enemy or here at AO3
Author:
sophie_french Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 11,500 Approx.
Summary: "For the last time, Malfoy, I have absolutely no hidden agenda giving you your wand back."
Harry brings Draco his wand back after the war and the rest is history.
Title: Outrageous Flirt
Author:
melusinahp Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 6,600 Approx.
Summary: Draco Malfoy flirts with everyone except Harry, and it has to stop.
Title: A Convenient Impracticality
Author:
firethesoundRating: NC 17
Word Count: 38,000 Approx.
Summary: Somehow Harry ends up agreeing to a fake relationship with his ex-nemesis-turned-friendly-acquaintance-with-benefits, except for some reason it involves an awful lot of actual dating and, sadly, not much sex. Confused? Harry is too, but when has anything with Draco Malfoy ever been as straightforward as it seems?
Title: Like a Star Across My Sky
Author:
lumosed_quill and sdkshelly Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 24,500 Approx.
Summary: When Draco discovers Harry Potter is his new landlord, he's convinced he's going to lose his shop. When Harry discovers Draco Malfoy's been invited on his friends' annual ski trip, he's certain his holiday is ruined. This is the story about how neither one of them is right.
Title: And a Malfoy in a Pear Tree
Author:
lauren3210 Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 8,000 Approx.
Summary: Draco works in a coffee shop. Harry drops by every day to get his fix. Of coffee, Ron.
Title: All Roads Lead Home
Author:
dracogotgame Rating: G
Word Count: 15,000 Approx.
Summary: Draco is strong-armed into spending the first Christmas after the War with the Weasleys. And Harry Potter.
Title: All the Important Words Unspoken
Author:
blamebrampton Rating: PG
Word Count: 73,500 Approx.
Summary: Narcissa Malfoy and Amarantha Greengrass just want what’s best for their children. But since it’s 1899, their children are 32 and 27 respectively, and sundry magical and Muggle crises are erupting across Europe, the chances of their plans progressing smoothly are close to zero.
Content/Warning(s): Victorian England AU (but otherwise, canon EWE compliant)
Title: Defining Dickhead
Author:
who_la_hoop Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 8,500 Approx.
Summary: cockblock (vulgar, slang)
verb: to impede the romantic or sexual advances of a person (usually a man) towards another
cockblockhead (vulgar, slang)
noun: a person (usually a man) who unintentionally cockblocks themselves
see also entries for: self-sabotage, absolute idiocy, Harry James Potter
Title: Everybody’s Secret
Author:
leontinabowieRating: NC 17
Word Count: 2,800 Approx.
Summary: Harry and Draco are both professors at Hogwarts, and in a relationship with each other. They think they’re doing a good job keeping it secret — they’re not.
Title: Dapper
Author:
writcraft Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 4,400
Summary: Draco starts wearing Muggle suits and Harry’s definitely losing his mind.
Title: Kiss-Kiss or here at AO3
Author:
who_la_hoop Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 6,00 Approx.
Summary: “Draco,” Harry said, scandalised, “the teddy bears are watching.” (Or, five times Draco kissed Harry during 'eighth year', and the one time Harry kissed him first.)
Title: Timeshare
Author:
Rating: R
Word Count: 14,000 Approx.
Summary: “It’s not for long,” Hermione said. “By the time we get back to Hogwarts, the Unfettering Brew will be ready.”
“Listen to you!” Ron said. “He’s got to get through a month with the Dursleys and a month at Malfoy Manor. With Draco Malfoy.”
“Yeah, thanks,” Harry said, because he hadn’t just spent the last week contemplating just how much more horrible his summer holidays were about to be than they’d ever been before.
Content/Warning(s): Magical AU: Canon Divergence (AU after 6th year, timeline suggested by author.)
Title: The Interest Here
Author:
disapparater Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 9,400 Approx.
Summary: Draco has his own morning show on the wireless, which he loves; an ambitious assistant, whom he needs; and days in The Tea Shop, where he relaxes. He also has a new caller on the show, whom he finds bloody annoying.
Title: Truth Will Out
Author:
birdsofshore Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 4,300 approx.
Summary: Sometimes you just need a little bit of a push to say what needs saying.
Title: More Than One Way to Polish a Broom
Author:
lumosed_quill Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 4,500 Approx.
Summary: Draco's been hexed to want to get it on with Potter's broom. He takes his comeuppance very seriously.
Title: Reparatio
Author:
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 17,300 approx.
Summary: Draco snorted. “I’m not reduced to penury. I want something considerably beyond money, and I rather think you’re the only one can give it to me.”
“You want the Invisibility Cloak,” Harry said, flatly. He’d half expected as much; it was the only thing he had that Draco could want—
“Don’t be stupid, Potter,” Draco said. “I want my reputation back.”
Title: Let Go
Author:
geoviki Rating: R
Word Count: 6,200
Summary: There was a logical explanation for what happened between Harry and Malfoy: adolescent insanity. Not their own, though—their children's.
Content/Warning(s): Epilogue compliant
Title: Who I Really Am
Author:
agentmoppet Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 8,500 Approx.
Summary: Draco seems to have changed since the war, and is insisting on making amends for his actions. But he's still a Malfoy, for heaven's sake... And, it would seem, a Malfoy with a certain kink...
Title: Newts
Author: anonymous
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 13,700 Approx.
Summary: "I’m twenty-eight!" Harry said. "I’ve been an Auror for ten years! You want me to go back to Hogwarts now?"
Title: His to Command
Author: anonymous
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 3,700
Summary: Harry's new hobby provides some interesting inspiration.
Content/Warning(s): blindfolds, light D/s, light bondage, failed sexperiments, blowjobs, anal sex
Title: Draco and Harry's Illicit Affair (and how Blaise Zabini wants nothing to do with it)
Author:
Rating: R
Word Count: 8,400
Summary: Blaise has the luck to stumble upon his friend romping around in Potter's pants. Multiple times.
Content/Warning(s): Blaise's POV.
Title: Uncivilized
Author:
enchanted_jae Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 2,300 Approx.
Summary: Draco's boss brings out his uncivilized side.
Title: Plenty of Wits, Plenty of Squids
Author:
sausaged Rating: G
Word Count: 4,200 Approx.
Summary: Lucius just wants Draco to be happy. And if Draco wants Harry Potter, Lucius will get him Harry Potter.
Content/Warning(s): AU – alive!James and alive!Sirius.
Title: Relaxation
Author:
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 4,900 Approx.
Summary: Harry needs to relax, but didn’t realise it would be quite like this.
Title: Handcuffs
Author:
fantasyfiend09 Rating: R
Word Count: 7,200
Summary: Draco is celebrating his 30th birthday with his parents on their private island. Showing up without a date is not an option.
Title: If at First you Don’t Succeed...
Author:
lauren3210Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 6,000 Approx.
Summary: After five years of not wanting children, Draco suddenly changes his mind. Harry is totally on board with this new plan...
Content/Warning(s): Mpreg
Title: A Madness Most Discreet
Author:
sophie_french Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 82,000 Approx.
Summary: Being an Auror is not easy: the long hours, the stress, the paperwork... Add to that a loud and smug partner, whose favourite past time is to make fun of you by reading the most ridiculous excerpts from your fan mail out loud, and you have an idea of what Harry has to go through every day.
Except that Harry doesn't really mind. In fact, he almost hates himself for finding the whole thing rather endearing. [Sequel to The Gentlewizard Club.]
Title: Magic Man
Author:
dracogotgame Rating: R
Word Count: 8,100 Approx.
Summary: Draco has been exiled to live in the Muggle World, where he's actually doing alright as an amateur stage magician. Harry has been tasked to determine if he's using real magic to enhance his performances.
Title: I’ve Waited Here for You (Everlong)
Author:
amorette Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 23,400 Approx.
Summary: Ever since Ginny started dating Blaise, Harry has had to see a lot of Blaise’s friends as well… and with them comes Malfoy. Everyone’s too focused on rebuilding the world after the war to notice that Malfoy is still a dick, so they don’t seem to mind letting him into their little group. But Harry remembers everything, and when he’s not having nightmares from the war or training to become an Auror, he is doing his best not to let himself become friends with Draco Malfoy. And friends with benefits is not actually friends… is it?
Title: Because Your Friend Told You About a New Position or here at AO3
Author:
gracerene Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 1,200
Summary: Draco is eager to try out a new position. Harry is...less eager.
Title: Call or Delete
Author:
dicta_contrion Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,7000
Summary: It was just meant to be a bit of cross-promotion, but luck has very rarely been on Draco’s side.
Title: The Anti Harry or here at AO3
Author:
dracogotgame Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,100
Summary: Harry has his eye on the new Fresher. The new Fresher has it in for Harry.
Content/Warning(s): Muggle!Non Magical AU, College!AU, slightly OOC Harry (think a Harry who's had a childhood severely influenced by both Sirius Black and James Potter).
Title: Muggle 'Drug Store Items'
Author:
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 4,100 Approx.
Summary: Malfoy's interest is caught by a certain Muggle drug store item. (Hint: Flavoured Condoms)
Title: Professor Potter and his Magical Menagerie
Author:
dracogotgameRating: PG-13
Word Count: 7,500
Summary: Harry Potter descends on Hogwarts with a horde of magical beasts. Professor Malfoy is not amused.
Title: Two Weeks
Author:
shiftylinguini Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 22,000 Approx.
Summary: If Harry had to guess which out of he or his Auror Partner, and tentative new friend, Draco Malfoy, would turn out to have Veela ancestry, his answer would be: neither, because that is ridiculous. Finding out the answer is actually him, and that his Veela heritage is wreaking havoc on his ability to work, sleep, and above all be in the same room as Malfoy, is a surprise to say the least. But this is fine. Harry’s been through worse, and he can just sit this one out, regardless of how much his body is screaming for the one person he doesn’t want to ask for help. Can’t he?
Content/Warning(s): Creature fic: Veela.
Title: Luckiest Fucking Size Queen Alive
Author:
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 6,100
Summary: Potter escorts me home, presses me into my front door and kisses me with a ferocity that’s exhilarating. // And then Potter asks me, in a growl that makes my cock throw a wet tantrum in my pants, how many more dates I would deem mandatory before I let him fuck me. // I drag Potter to bed.
Title: Life Is The Flower (For Which Love Is the Honey)
Author:
bafflinghazeRating: PG-13
Word Count: 15,000 Approx.
Summary: The Malfoy Manor lands are lush and verdant. Bees hover over carpets of flowers, and ducks paddle in the pond. It is a place far removed from bustling London and pesky reporters; it is a place where Harry finds what—and who—he didn’t know he was missing.
Title: Hippomancy for Beginners
Author:
khalulu Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 11,500 Approx.
Summary: When Draco desperately insists on becoming a Centaur Liaison, he doesn’t know what he’s getting into, especially with that annoying hero-turned-hermit Harry Potter living right at the entrance to the Forbidden Forest. Not to mention foreign unicorn women, slavering three headed beasts, bitter brews, unexpected friendships, and the consequences of a very cocky vocabulary.
Go back to Humour 1
Back to Rec Archive
Or back to Main Menu
